The good, the bad, and the ugly

Thought I would update...

It's been quite an interesting few weeks. Joe is applying for both math and physics teaching positions around the state of Utah, but we have our hopes set on a physics position in Park City UT. It would be out of the smog that is so bad for everybody's lungs, but especially on Joyli's. It's a beautiful city, and there might be the possibility of renting a beautiful home for a price that we afford. My mother in law, Marie knows someone who has a lot of influence in Park City. Joe met with her and she is taking Joe's resume, and letters of reference's to the principle personally. Joe was given amazing references!!

Joe is loving his calling as assistant scout master. Every week when he goes out on an activity with the scouts and young men he comes back smiling and in a really good mood. :)

Hannah is full of curiosity. And loves to show how much she loves her little sister by hugging and kissing her. However, sometimes she does it so much that she knocks Joyli over. ;) She is a very sweet girl with a very loving heart. We sure are having problems as far as potty training goes. It's so frustrating... When she was 2 she was using her potty all day long! It seems like everything changed when Joyli went in the hospital for a few weeks for a clean-out and Hannah went to daycare for a month. It's been drama most of the time since then as well. I'm wondering if it's effecting Hannah more than I realize. I've tried every bit of advice that I've received about potty training her, but nothing has worked. I've tried stickers, candy, charts, pull ups, training panties, real panties, big toilet, small toilet, potty watch, praise, applause, teaching her dolly how to potty train, peer pressure (all her friends are potty trained now!)and saying "you must be so proud of yourself, you did it!" I think when people tell me that she'll potty train when she is ready mean well and are trying to help me feel better, but I think the idea of it is total crap! She'll NEVER be ready. I recently got a book called "potty training in one day". It got rave reviews from thousands of parents. It is so hard for me to find the time to read it. (I'm also working on another book "Christlike Parenting") From what I've gathered so far, you have a big party. The author feels that some kids never "want" to use the potty. Why should they they have a bathroom wherever they go and mom and dad's extra attention when they need a diaper change. I'm really hoping that the thousands of other parents are right about this book, because it is my last hope!

Joyli somehow get's cuter every day. She's into everything! :D She toddles around everywhere. It's so cute. She has the cutest mannerisms. She stomps her little fat feet and flaps her hands and arms and squeals when she's super happy, which is often. :)

Last week her g-tube was ripped out of her stomach. That was scary... it's so weird/terrifying to see a bloody hole in your baby's stomach. I screamed for Joe and together we got the emergency button in about 3 minutes or less. We called the GI doctor on call and she said to watch out for bleeding, vomiting or fever. In the morning Joyli was vomiting. I called the surgery nurse and she told me to bring her up to Primary's. Our car was in the shop. I didn't have a car or a babysitter for Hannah. Joe's work has been really slow since it's the company's off season and they're moving to a new location. They have been asking people to voluntarily take of work for a few weeks. So Joe came home from work for this one day. By the time he called me to tell me his boss didn't mind him taking off I was at the point of panic. Joyli was not acting like she usually does. She's usually walking around, smiling, giggling in the mornings. That morning she was not smiling, listless and just laying there. Even when she's in the hospital and really sick she'll smile! So I knew something was really wrong. I used the car that Joe was using (our parents car) and started to drive Joyli up to Primary's.

On the exit to foothill blvd, I got in a car accident. There was a yield sign that I stopped at so one car could pass by, I waited to make sure nobody else was coming and then started to go. I have a feeling that the guy in front of me wasn't paying attention and that's why he didn't move when there were no cars coming, because he had plenty of time! But unfortunately, I wasn't paying attention either and tapped his bumper. I didn't see any damage to his bumper and thought that maybe he would just keep driving. But he pulled over so I did too. We both got out of our cars and I went to take a closer look at his bumper. I didn't see anything and said "do you think it's o.k.?" Then he pointed to a extremely small scratch about a centimeter long. I had to put my nose right up to it to be able to see it. The amount of damage to my parents car was a dented license plate. He said "maybe we should exchange insurances. I thought, whatever, I'll just quickly give him my insurance info and then I can Joyli to the hospital. He asked me where I was going. I told him I was taking my baby to Primary's. He said "Oh, I'm sorry."

Then next thing I know, he called the police, he called everybody. I don't get it! It wasn't like this was a new car! It was an old 1991 Honda Civic. The tiny scratch that I could hardly see could have already been there for all I know. I was taking my sick baby to the hospital, couldn't he have had a little compassion!! The policeman was very nice. When he went to look at the damage to the guys car he had to bend over and get his nose right up to it to see the scratch. I took a picture of the other car because I wanted proof that their was nothing there! As the policeman walked away and towards the police car, I swear I saw him smile and roll his eyes. I think he thought it was as ridiculous as I did.

My baby was in the back not moving except to moan and cry a little bit. It was the type of cry that she does when she doesn't have the strength to really show how horrible she's feeling. She does that type of cry every time when she comes out of surgery. I was sobbing like an idiot. I was angry at myself for making such a stupid mistake, I was angry at the stupid 30 year old guy who was making this huge fuss over a scratch that nobody could hardly see. And I was extremely worried about my daughter who was acting so sick. I've never seen her act like that before. I tried to stop crying when the cop came around to check on how far I had gotten on the paperwork. Which wasn't far since I had to call our insurance and get our policy # and all kinds of information since I had left our insurance card in our car. This cop was so nice! I explained to him that my daughter had had her g-tube ripped out the night before, was vomiting, and they wanted to see her at Primary's asap. He filled out my paperwork for me while I was on the phone with the insurance. The policeman kept apologizing that because it was an accident, by law he had to unfortunately give me a ticket. But he really seemed like he hated to do it. That made it easier.

The other guy left and I tried to start the car... the battery was dead. I lost it again, and ran back to the cop car before he left and asked him if he had any jumper cables. He said he would call someone who did. The policeman stayed there the whole time to make sure I was o.k. and then he assisted the truck that came. The car started right up and I went to Primary's. I called later and the ticket is going to cost us $120! Someone has hit our car twice and ripped off the drivers side mirror. They NEVER left a note saying "sorry I hit your car, here's my insurance." The first time it cost us $150 to fix the mirror. This time it's going to cost us almost $400!! Some idiot doesn't have the decency to be honest when they damage my car and I have to pay $550 for it. I try to be honest and pull over when I tapped this guys bumper for maybe $10 of damage (if he really wants to bother to get paint to cover up that little one centimeter scratch) and I get a $120 ticket! It's just not fair!

Any way, at Primary's the surgery nurse saw that Joyli was not doing well. She had the doctor personally escort us to the ER. We were in the ER for 9 hours (we're usually there at least 8 hours every time we go.) They did all kinds of tests, and discovered that she was severely dehydrated. When they poked her to get the IV in she didn't move, she didn't cry, she just laid there staring. She spent about 36 hours on IV fluid and then she was well enough to go home. The morning of the day she went home they needed to get some blood. 3 different people stuck her each two times and were all unsuccessful. Finally on the 7th poke they were able to get some blood. And it's never just a poke, they have to go in there with the needle and feel around for the vein with the needle. I've had that done to me enough times to know it hurts!

Joli is doing a lot better! The only thing that I'm worried about now is her cough. She started this terrible cough a little over 2 weeks ago that they were hoping to treat without antibiotics. Because when she gets done with any antibiotic she has severe diarrhea for 3 months (10 outfits a day and at least 5 baths daily). So we started hypertonic saline and more treatments. One week later her cough was horrible!! It was worse than the time she had pneumonia. So they gave in and knew that she needed antibiotics. They have definitely helped... but the cough is still there. I worry that it's going to get worse and we're going to have to try stronger antibiotics. Does that mean weeks in the hospital for a clean out? Does that mean a month of Toby (that's the $10,000 mega antibiotic) at home? That would add to the hours of treatments we already do. I don't know what I would do with Hannah if Joyli had to go in for a clean -out. The doctors have mentioned it... we'll see. The fact that her compressors never work might be contributing to her lung problems. Our 8th one just broke today!!! It completely stopped working and absolutely no steam was coming out. The respiratory therapist at Primary's said that they have gotten a lot of complaints from parents about the Pari Vios compressor. They have the parents bring in their nebulizers and they hook them up to the wall compressor at the hospital and they work fine. But when they hook it up to the Vios compressor it doesn't work. I am so frustrated. I've done everything they have suggested to fix possible reasons of why they stop working. But they're still breaking somehow. It seems like they just decide to to not put out very much air one day.

I'm sure life will be calm someday. The dear sweet retired sisters from my ward act like it's the greatest part of their week to come do Joyli's treatments. I am so grateful for them. I'm so grateful for the beyond wonderful family and friends that do SO MUCH to help us!! Our burdens are so much lighter because of you!! I'm grateful to an impossibly amazing husband! His Christlike charity never ceases to amaze me. He works hard all day then comes home, job searches, helps with the girls and does treatments so often for me!! I am especially grateful for a loving Heavenly Father. I can see His tender mercies every day, even on the especially hard days. I am very blessed.